Monday Humor

New Year's Resolutions for lawyers. Here is a taste:



SPEND MORE TIME WITH LOVED ONES


Here's where your lawyering skills come into play because this could seriously eat into your billable hours. After all, what exactly constitutes "more time," and who falls into the "loved ones" category? Where are the code definitions for these terms, anyway? Is there any applicable legislative history? Or has this stuff even made it out of the public notice and comment period yet?
Sure, you could resolve to come into work late Wednesday mornings and take the kids to school, but why get your children accustomed to such luxuries? You know you can't sustain such a regular schedule of child involvement. Worse yet, don't go volunteering to coach Little League. You'll not only anger the partners who need you to stay late, you'll also disappoint your own kids and dozens of innocent children of other parents too busy to impart the wisdom of the slap bunt.
A more realistic resolution within the spirit of this one: Call when you are going to be home late. This is a completely attainable goal. Just ask your assistant to set your phone to dial home each night at the necessary hour with a prerecorded message: "Honey, I am running late. Something came up. I'll be home soon! Love you!"