The Judge said what???

Here's one for all those arguing for simplicity in legal writing. This is from Jamison v. Ford Motor Company and was penned by Judge Ralph King Anderson of the South Carolina Court of Appeals:

The cognoscenti of federal preemption jurisprudence bestow panoramic application so as to limit state common law tort actions. We decline to accept this broad-brush federal judicial barricade.
. . .

Importantly, scholars on basic conflict preemption principles inculcate in regard to the fundamental elixir of the rule when juxtaposing federal/state constitutional analysis. If a state statute, administrative rule, or common law cause of action conflicts with a federal statute, it is incontestable that the state law has no efficacy. It is pellucid that the Supremacy Clause does not bless unelected federal judges with carte blanche to utilize federal law as a conduit to impose their own views of tort law on the States. Assumptively, we recognize that common law tort actions are historically within the scope of the States’ police powers and are safe from preemption by a federal statute unless Congress reveals a clear and manifest purpose to preempt.

. . .

Finally, we place our imprimatur and approbation upon the arbitraments of the circuit court in regard to. . . .

Man, I feel like Fred and Lamont Sanford after Officer Hopkins spouts off some police jargon and evidence of an Ivy League education. Here's a good example (from one of my favorite shows) that expresses my thoughts on the above.

[Officer Hopkins helps Grady inside]

Fred Sanford: What's the matter, Grady?

Officer 'Hoppy' Hopkins: It's really nothing much to be concerned about, Mr. Sanford. He's merely experiencing a mild gastrointestinal imbalance precipitated by acute anti-gravitational pull in the lower abdominal cavity.

[Fred Sanford stares blankly and waits for translation]

Grady Wilson: I gotta throw up!